<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Reckless by Stray_Lilly</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881041">Reckless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stray_Lilly/pseuds/Stray_Lilly'>Stray_Lilly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Tags to Be Added, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Broken Hearts, Drunken sex, Fingering, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Infidelity, Love Triangle, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Moral Dilemmas, Parties, Relationship Tags to Be Added - Freeform, Rimming, Secrets, Semi-Public Sex, Someone gets punched, Tags May Change, flirtation, hangovers, lies and betrayal, relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:14:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stray_Lilly/pseuds/Stray_Lilly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seungmin knows that Minho and Jeongin are in love. But everything changes that night - the night that Minho shares his secret with Seungmin. What follows is a series of reckless decisions that affect more than just three lives.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chan/?, Changbin/?, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Jisung/?, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Yang Jeongin | I.N, felix/?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Not the best night of his life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello 💖 I hope you like this! 💖</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Charisma comes naturally to Jeongin. He could be standing in a crowd with his hands shoved in his pockets, but once you set sight on him, it becomes impossible to look away. Because Jeongin is always doing something, even when he’s doing nothing. It isn’t the kind of thing that can be explained. You have to </span>
  <em>
    <span>experience</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A thirty second conversation is all it takes for someone to want to get to know him a little more. Or a lot more. Jeongin isn’t the kind of person who has issues in the dating department. Actually, Jeongin doesn’t have any issues at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s always gotten good grades. He gets straight A’s in college – not because he’s a genius, but because he forces himself to put in the extra effort when he needs to. And he only does that because he respects the amount of effort his parents put in to procure the money for his studies. He’s a good son. Nah – he’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span> son. He travels six hours every second Friday to spend the weekend with them. He never forgets their birthdays and has a special savings account just to save up for their birthday presents. He texts him mom every evening to tell her that he loves her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s a good person. Better than most people out there, anyway. He actually donates to charity – some foundation for the homeless. How many other second year college students do that? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin and Jeongin were best friends ever since they bumped into each other in middle school and Seungmin surrendered the last helping of shitty cafeteria pasta to him. Like everyone else, Seungmin wanted to claim a spot beside him. And luckily for Seungmin, Jeongin had been all too willing to reserve that spot for Seungmin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They just… clicked. It was the kind of friendship that everyone had expected to fizzle out, especially when Seungmin, a year older, went to high school and Jeongin was still stuck in middle school. But that never happened. Even when Seungmin went off to college. It was just a matter of waiting a year for Jeongin to join him. And when he did, all was right in the world again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin used to love everything about Jeongin. Until Minho came along. Jeongin and Minho had been dating for seven months and fifteen days. Seungmin hates that he knows that. He hates that in a crowded room, his eyes seek out Minho and his feet automatically take him to where Minho is standing on the balcony that overlooks the pool. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a warm evening, made even warmer by the alarming amount of bodies crowded inside the house. The air smells like sweat and cheap beer and cigarette smoke. Seungmin gets a whiff of weed too as he weaves between dancing bodies. Not for the first time, he wonders whose house this is. Jeongin probably knows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s chocolate brown hair is still as perfect as it was when he’d walked into the party with them. Relief pounds through Seungmin’s chest because it means that Jeongin’s fingers haven’t been running through Minho’s hair. Jeongin loves gripping fistfuls of Minho’s hair when they make out. Seungmin wonders whether it’s because of how Minho’s hair feels in his hands, or whether it’s the sounds that are drawn from Minho’s lips when Jeongin gives a sharp tug on his hair. Sometimes, Jeongin does it a little too roughly so Minho has to pry his hands away before they continue. And then Minho’s eyes are wide open as he and Jeongin devour each other like starved animals. Minho always looks at Seungmin then, waiting for him to react, to do something, to say something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin always looks away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not because he doesn’t care, not because he doesn’t wish he was in Jeongin’s place, not because he’s a saint – saints don’t jerk off every night thinking of their best friend’s boyfriend – but because he knows that they’re in love with each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the irresistible pull that forces Minho and Seungmin to keep each other in sight, and the tense jolt of electricity passed through a feather-light touch when they brush past each other is unbearable. Seungmin can only hope that the static which lingers between him and Minho will dissolve, or at least get to a point where it becomes a part of the background noise – so easy to ignore that they forget it’s actually there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But how the fuck is Seungmin supposed to forget what he feels?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a nice night, huh?” Minho gives him a nervous smile before looking up at the starlit sky.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone chooses that exact moment to bump into Minho, spilling their beer on Minho’s sleeve. The young girl apologizes profusely and Minho waves her away with a tight smile. He removes his coat to reveal the sexy silky black shirt beneath. The silver threads that form patterns on the shirt glimmer as they catch the light. Mesmerizing. Not the shirt – just Minho in general.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not such a nice night anymore?” Seungmin teases as Minho examines his coat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s still some time,” Minho turns his nose up at Seungmin, a smile playing on his lips. “It could end up being the best night of our lives.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a laughable idea, but Seungmin wants to believe him so he holds out a little hope. “Where’s Jeongin?” he asks Minho, because that’s how these conversations usually went. He has to raise his voice a bit because even upstairs is polluted by the deafening music from the living room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Playing some drinking game in the kitchen.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s typical of Jeongin. Something Seungmin would have usually shaken his head and laughed about. But that was before Minho. Seungmin no longer feels an inclination to check on Jeongin. Now he feels justifiably angry. Why would you bring your boyfriend to a party only to ditch him for some cheap alcohol? And it’s obvious that Minho is upset too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin doesn’t go to the kitchen. He remains beside Minho because it’s too hard to walk away. “I didn’t think you were gonna come out tonight,” he admits, his curiosity forcing him to have a conversation with the older man. They don’t talk very much when Jeongin isn’t around. Unless it’s a conversation about Jeongin – how to pry him away from a party, or trying to figure out how to convince him not to do something stupid like dump all the cafeteria chairs in the pool. “I thought you had that advertising project.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho is in his final year. He has a ton of work and responsibilities that Seungmin and Jeongin don’t have. Seungmin really doesn’t understand why Minho lets Jeongin drag him to every party. It’s not like Jeongin is such great company – he ditches Minho most of the time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the corner of his eye, he sees Minho’s head whip towards him. It takes him a moment to realize his mistake. Seungmin wasn’t supposed to remember </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> particular detail. What kind of person remembers what projects his best friend’s boyfriend is working on?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You remember,” Minho says, and he sounds almost breathless. Seungmin looks away from the couples that are hogging the pool, and looks at Minho. For a moment, his breath catches when he sees how bright Minho’s eyes are and the nervous excitement brimming in them. There’s a contest to see who looks away first, and neither of them are backing down tonight. Minho’s lips part and he shifts closer to Seungmin so that their elbows are touching on the railing. It’s that touch that makes Seungmin surrender victory to Minho. He looks away, but his body doesn’t move away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho clears his throat and says, “I was working on that project when Jeongin called. I didn’t want to come but he…” Minho’s hesitation makes Seungmin look at him again. The older man is nervously tapping the railing, his lower lip pulled between his teeth – fucking hell, the sight of that just makes Seungmin wants to die – as he looks up at the sky. Finally, Minho tells him, “He said that I’m getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>boring</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What fucking bullshit. Seungmin bristles. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Minho? Boring?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Does Jeongin not understand how important this project is to Minho, how important this semester is? How can he call Minho boring just because he has work to do? Jeongin needs to grow the fuck up. If Seungmin feels that offended on Jeongin’s behalf, he can’t imagine how Minho must feel. Or… Seungmin could just be overreacting again. He always does when Minho is involved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s question startles him and he collects himself, unclenching his jaw before nodding. “Jeongin can be insensitive sometimes. He means well.” Defending Jeongin has really become a pain in the ass. “I think he just misses you when you’re not around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure about that?” Minho’s scepticism makes Seungmin feel uneasy, Minho should </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Jeongin misses him. He should </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> how much Jeongin loves him. But if he has doubts…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I am.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, I’m not sure at all</span>
  </em>
  <span>. To prevent himself from having to lie further, and because he really is concerned, he tells Minho that he’s going to find Jeongin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho nods but when Seungmin pushes away from the railing, Minho casually says, “I like your hair.” Seungmin freezes. It’s the first time Minho has ever complimented him. “I like that it’s black,” Minho continues. “The red was nice. They grey too. But I really like your black hair.” Seungmin blinks stupidly. Red. He did have red hair in his first year. But Jeongin wasn’t even around then. That means… Minho had noticed him </span>
  <em>
    <span>before he noticed Jeongin</span>
  </em>
  <span>. In all probability, Minho had just seen him in passing and hadn’t given him a second look. But even that stuns Seungmin into silence. Minho had noticed </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can only stare at Minho. He knows his cheeks are flushed. He knows he looks like an idiot but he can’t find his voice. “I like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> too,” Minho says, and Seungmin is confused until Minho reaches up and flicks the silver hoop dangling from his ear. It’s one simple touch – he shouldn’t be turned on by a touch on his ear for fuck’s sake – but Seungmin’s entire body begins to tingle and his jeans feel a little tighter. “You look good.” Oh, holy fuck. What is this? What is happening right now? “You trying to impress someone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Talk, Seungmin. Talk, dammit! </span>
  </em>
  <span>But he only shakes his head, a hand reaching out to clasp the railing so his weak knees don’t give out. He did make a small effort to dress up – jeans, a thin green knit sweater cut into a low V, a bit of hair product too. He really hadn’t intended on dressing up for Minho, but maybe subconsciously…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin gives him a doubtful look and Minho laughs. “So,” Minho clears his throat, “aren’t you dating someone? I mean, you’re dating Hyunjin, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And this is something Seungmin absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>has to</span>
  </em>
  <span> answer, because he needs to make it clear to Minho that he’s single. He doesn’t know why it’s so important to make it clear, but it is. “We never dated, but I’ve hooked up with him a few times,” he admits. His voice is shaky, unsteady like his feet. “But I decided to end it.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Because he wasn’t you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Seungmin wants to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho nods and looks away. When he speaks, his voice is edged with something Seungmin can’t quite place. “I’m a teaching assistant for one of his classes. He’s a pretty smart guy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh. Oh, shit. Well…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure he is,” Seungmin shrugs. He never expected Hyunjin’s name to come up in this conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s a good kid, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Great. And now Seungmin feels like he’s being scolded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Minho sighs, still looking away from him, “I always figured you had high standards.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And what the hell is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> supposed to mean? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin doesn’t wait to find out. He heads over to the kitchen before he and Minho can overstep a boundary. They were already toeing the line.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit,” is what Seungmin says when he walks into the kitchen and finds Jeongin standing a little too close to a young dark haired man. Jeongin has one hand pressed against the wall, closing the man into a corner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin knows that Jeongin would never cheat on Minho. When he’s sober. But he can tell by Jeongin’s boisterous laugh that he’s hammered. He shakes his head in annoyance. Every time Jeongin drinks past his limit it’s Seungmin who has stop him from making a mistake. It’s not like Jeongin </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span> to cheat on Minho. He just… loses control when he has too much to drink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s never done anything though. Seungmin won’t let him. He won’t let Jeongin hurt Minho that way. Or any way, really. And that’s fucked up. Because he’s supposed to be on Jeongin’s side, no matter what… Right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wrenches Jeongin away by his shoulder and forces a smile. “Minho wants to go home.” Minho didn’t say that but Seungmin knows it’s what he wants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, Minho, yeah…” Jeongin slurs, and at least has the decency to look ashamed. “You’re driving, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin feels like a chauffeur, except he isn’t getting paid for this. Jeongin and Minho are in the backseat making out. Seungmin doesn’t want to look. But he does. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin’s fingers are in Minho’s hair, of course. Minho’s moans overpower the classic rock blaring from the speakers. When Jeongin’s lips move to Minho’s neck, Seungmin forces himself to look away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin and Jeongin share a dorm room. But Minho lives in an apartment off-campus. Sometimes Jeongin stays over at Minho’s place. Seungmin hopes he won’t tonight. It’s one of those thoughts that make his stomach turn with guilt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin leans over into the front, whispering, “Can you pull over somewhere?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Seungmin frowns. “We’re nearly at Minho’s place. You can wait—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on,” Jeongin pleads. “We won’t be long. You can take a walk or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin wants to say no. But Minho isn’t exactly objecting to this idea either. And they’re both looking at him with wide, hopeful eyes. Seungmin fucking hates this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yep, this isn’t the best night of his life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s 1am and it’s a residential area but there’s no one around. He pulls over at the corner and jumps out of the car, slamming the door behind him. He walks along the sidewalk with his fingers interlocked behind his neck. He glances over his shoulder, and he really shouldn’t have.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho is on Jeongin’s lap. He’s bouncing up and down, his head thrown back as if he’s having the time of his life in the backseat of a car parked on a street corner. Jeongin is unanimated, probably too inebriated to even move his body properly. Seungmin would have taken his time. He would have savoured Minho. No. He shouldn’t be thinking of having sex with his best friend’s boyfriend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But his dick is throbbing. Maybe he should visit Hyunjin tonight. It’s a bad idea but…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He returns to the car when he’s sure that they’re done and fully clothed. He looks into the backseat, unsurprised to see Jeongin passed out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He fell asleep,” Minho says, sitting with Jeongin’s head in his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin snorts. “Did you think I was gonna accuse you of knocking him out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho smiles a little at this, but Seungmin can’t return his smile. Jeongin’s car smells like sex and sweat and will probably smell that way until Seungmin can convince him to get it cleaned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before he starts the engine he reaches into the console and hands Minho the bag of fruit pastilles. Minho’s eyes light up in that incredible way they always do when he gets his hands on the candy. Seungmin doesn’t know what’s so great about it but Minho loves those things. Jeongin knows it too, which is why he keeps the bag there in the first place. Even though Seungmin is always the one reminding him when he needs to buy more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>crunch, crunch, crunch</span>
  </em>
  <span> from the backseat isn’t annoying at all, and Seungmin finds his lips tugging into a smile. Neither of them talk on the drive to Minho’s apartment, but when they’re a block away Seungmin has to ask with some awkwardness, “Should I uh… Should I take Jeongin back to our dorm or…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few beats of silence, Minho says, “I’m sure he’ll be more comfortable at the dorm.” What he really means, is that he and Jeongin have had enough sex for the night, and he doesn’t want to deal with Jeongin’s hangover in the morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that’s fair. It’s probably like having a kid, except Minho’s not obligated to wipe Jeongin’s vomit off the floor. Minho’s too good for that. Seungmin doesn’t mean that in a mean way. It’s the truth – Minho shouldn’t have to clean up after anyone, least of all his own boyfriend. Minho is… He’s above all of that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Penny for your thoughts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin raises an eyebrow at this, resisting the urge to find Minho’s reflection in the rearview mirror. He doesn’t want to meet with an accident. Instead, he extends a hand over his shoulder. “Pay up first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s soft chuckle dissipates some of the tension that has Seungmin all wound up. And he hadn’t been expecting Minho to play along, but a coin falls into his palm. He keeps the coin closed inside his fist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho sounds impatient, so to draw things out even more, Seungmin sighs like he has to think hard. Behind him, Minho releases a scoff that makes Seungmin’s grin widen. “I was just thinking about…” Seungmin is meant to say something silly, but he finds himself being completely serious, “I was thinking about you.” The words slip out before he can stop himself, and half a second later, he feels damning regret.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t have said that. What the fuck is wrong with him? Fear grips Seungmin in its fist, squeezing until it becomes hard to breathe. Jeongin is in the back seat! If he was awake, if he heard… But that isn’t the issue, is it? No. The real issue is that Seungmin is flirting with his best friend’s boyfriend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About me?” There’s a tremble in Minho’s voice, as well as a demand. “What about me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What the hell is Seungmin supposed to do now? He swallows hard as he contemplates his answer. “About – about um…” he chews on his lip. “About how much work you have this semester.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a beat of silence and then, “Liar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A wave of relief washes over him when they arrive at the apartment building because now he doesn’t have to face that accusation. He stares straight ahead, waiting for Minho to leave. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please leave, please leave, please leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But Minho remains as is. So Seungmin does too. He can be just as stubborn. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin frowns, “Is there something you need, Minho?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A second passes, and then two, and then three. And then Minho is opening the car door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Jeongin,” he hears Minho say, trying to wake the unconscious man, his head on Minho’s lap. “Jeongin, wake up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho makes an irritated noise and then slips out of the car, leaving Jeongin sprawled on the seat. Seungmin winces when Minho slams the door shut, and watches the man walk over to the gate. Minho raises a hand to swipe himself in, the metallic card glinting between his fingers. But then he lowers his hand and turns around to look directly at Seungmin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car’s headlights illuminate the tilt of his head and desperation in his eyes. He beckons to Seungmin with his gaze even if he doesn’t say anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t need to say anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin is already jumping out of the car, making his way towards Minho in quick strides. Minho presses his back against the pedestrian gate a second before Seungmin reaches him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their bodies aren’t even touching but Seungmin feels a flash of heat, every inch of his body burning as if the sliver of space between them is filled with lava. Seungmin’s fingers curl around the bars of the gate, caging Minho between his arms. Minho’s own fingers are pressed behind his back, as if he’s physically trying to restrain them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks at Seungmin with those beautiful eyes, his lips parting, jaw working as if he wants so desperately to say something. He makes a small sound and the words still linger on his lips – Seungmin wants to kiss the words right off them. He hangs his head low, eyes fixed on Minho’s lips. The kiss is there, ripe for the taking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Seungmin pries his gaze away from Minho’s lips to look him in the eye. He needs to know. He has to ask, “Are you in love with him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin reads the answer written in the direction of Minho’s gaze. And he’s not looking at Seungmin. He’s looking past Seungmin, at the man slumped against the car window in a drunken slumber. It isn’t necessary, but Minho nods. “I am,” he says, shifting his gaze to Seungmin again. “But I—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you love him, the ‘buts’ don’t matter,” Seungmin cuts him short and furiously pushes away from the gate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He starts towards the car but fingers curl into the back of his sweater, their grip so tight that Seungmin swears the material ripped. “Please,” Minho says in a whisper, and Seungmin really isn’t sure what he’s asking for, but whatever it is, Seungmin </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wants to give it to him. He turns around to face Minho. “He doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> what you feel. And I know what you feel, because it’s in your actions, in the way you look at me, the way you pay attention to the little things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin feels a mixture of disappointment and anger, but both are overpowered by how hurt he feels by Minho’s confession. “You love him, but you want…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>You want him to love you the way I do. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He shakes his head, “You know what, Minho? I care about you both so I’ll fix everything for you. I’ll fix him, make him work the way you want him to work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not what I—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, that’s exactly what you want, so it’s exactly what you’ll get.” There’s the anger Seungmin wants to feel. It seeps into his bones until he’s seething. “You won’t have any more complaints. Maybe send me a list of whatever you like about me so I can make sure that he doesn’t let you down.” There are tears streaming down Minho’s cheeks, and Seungmin wonders whether it’s from embarrassment, or fear of what Seungmin is going to do. “Your secret is safe with me,” he says before he leaves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nope, still not the best night of his life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin can hardly open his eyes when they get back to campus. Seungmin has to practically carry him into their dorm room. And Jeongin isn’t the only one drunk out of his mind; Seungmin sees his fair share of students vomiting in the stair wells on their way up. With waning patience he cleans up Jeongin’s vomit from the floor and tucks him into bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it feels great to breathe semi-clean air again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin walks down the hallway, stopping two doors down. The door opens after three terse knocks, and he smiles at the dorky young man grinning back at him in delight. It’s the same expression that he always wears when Seungmin knocks on his door. It makes Seungmin feel sorry for him – more than usual. This really is a bad idea, but the fact that Minho made it known that he’s unhappy about it, makes Seungmin want to do it even more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Changbin’s here?” Hyunjin shakes his head. Well, that’s good, because if Changbin had been there, Seungmin would’ve had to tell him to fuck off. Hyunjin’s eyes brighten behind the large frames of his lopsided glasses. Was he asleep? “Is it alright if I—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, c-come in.” Overeager, and something that would be a turn-off if Seungmin didn’t find it so adorable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The more Seungmin thinks about it, the more he realizes that he would have been exactly like Hyunjin – invisible and desperate for attention – if it wasn’t for Jeongin. Hell, Seungmin even dressed like Hyunjin back in middle school until Jeongin made him see reason. As much as Seungmin hates to admit it, so much of who he is as a person has been shaped from his friendship with Jeongin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walks around, studying the little knickknacks that Hyunjin has on the shelves that line his side of the room. They’re fascinating. Souvenirs from all the fancy places Hyunjin has visited with his family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An open public relations textbook lies on the bed. Seungmin picks it up and places it on the desk where a few framed photographs of a dog takes up majority of the space. When he looks at Hyunjin again, he’s already stripping out of his space themed pajamas. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin catches his eye and begins to blush, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “I – I thought you weren’t… I mean, that we weren’t…” he trails off with a shrug, discarding his glasses before he moves to sit on his bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought so too,” Seungmin admits. He’d been fucking around with Hyunjin since the beginning of the year. It’s been something on and off – off whenever Seungmin attempted dating someone, and on whenever he realized that no one could ever hold a candle to Minho. But a few weeks ago, he decided he was done. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because Hyunjin deserves…. more. More than fucking someone who can’t give him the time of day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin takes a seat on Changbin’s bed – what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him – and studies the naked man waiting patiently for his attention. “I’m a little tired.” Mentally more than physically. And he just wants to fuck Minho out of the orbit of his mind, so maybe he’ll get an ounce of peaceful sleep. “Can you open yourself up for me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin appears enthusiastic about that idea. “I can,” he gives Seungmin a shy glance before retrieving the lube from his drawer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin watches raptly as Hyunjin lies flat on his back, knees raised and bent. A lubed finger begins to massage his taint, slowly moving towards his pucker. He holds Seungmin’s gaze as his finger slips in and Seungmin’s dick begins to twitch. Good. This is what he needs. Hyunjin’s lips part as he adds another finger, sliding in two knuckles deep. Seungmin raises his brows when he sees Hyunjin’s fingers curl and his hips begin to buck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Seungmin snorts, and Hyunjin grins at him with flushed cheeks, “I asked if you could open yourself, not fuck yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin giggles at the admonishment and adds another finger. Seungmin only has patience enough to wait a few more seconds before he’s slipping on a condom and slicking himself up. Hyunjin knows how he likes it, so he gives Seungmin the bed and moves to straddle him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He exhales as Hyunjin slides down onto his cock, his warmth enveloping Seungmin and sucking him in. Hyunjin sighs and throws his head back when Seungmin is buried to the hilt. He runs his hands over Hyunjin’s thighs, over his hips. He takes the opportunity to appreciate how lucky he is. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone else fails to see past Hyunjin’s preppy oversized pullovers and those glasses that dwarf his features. They all label him as a nerd, someone not worth paying attention to. And so they don’t get to see him the way Seungmin does. They know nothing about this beautiful toned body that comes from hours of swimming every evening. They don’t get to see the way his dark locks stick to his forehead and neck because of the steady drip of sweat as he bounces on Seungmin’s dick. They don’t get to see how devastatingly pretty he is. But Seungmin gets to see it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it gives him an immense amount of satisfaction. Especially when Hyunjin is riding his dick like his life depends on it. His palms are pressed flat against Seungmin’s clothed chest and he works his hips, squeezing around Seungmin’s dick until Seungmin is digging his fingers into his hips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Hyunjin is close, he begins to get noisy, his moans penetrating the thin walls. Neither of them give a fuck about being overheard. Seungmin begins to thrust up into him, grunting with every thrust that brings him closer to the edge. Despite the rock hard cock bouncing against his belly, Hyunjin won’t come until Seungmin does – he’s always so eager to please.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin’s body jerks and he thrusts his hips erratically, chasing his desperately needed orgasm. He only has to wrap his hand around Hyunjin’s shaft before the man is coming. Ropes of Hyunjin’s cum spurt over his bare belly, some of it clinging to Seungmin’s sweater – Hyunjin will fix that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin groans as he slips himself off Seungmin’s dick and – ah yes, here he goes – he kneels between Seungmin’s legs, licking the cum off his sweater.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then Seungmin is swinging his legs over the bed, cleaning himself up and getting dressed. “Thanks,” he says over his shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can feel Hyunjin’s gaze burning into his back and he knows there’s something Hyunjin wants to say – something he’s wanted to say for a while – but Hyunjin isn’t stupid enough to ruin this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin is about to leave when the door opens and Hyunjin’s roommate walks in. He looks up from his phone and notices Seungmin, and his smile fades into a scowl. His eyes shift to stare at Hyunjin’s nakedness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Again?” Changbin doesn’t seem deterred by Hyunjin’s cum splattered body. “You’re doing this </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” His angry glare swings from Hyunjin to Seungmin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin holds up two hands defensively. “I’m just leaving. This is between you both, so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You son of a bitch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin presses his lips into a thin line and returns Changbin’s glare. “If you want to fuck Hyunjin so bad, be my guest. If you have a nice dick I might even enjoy watching.” He looks at Hyunjin who has his patchwork quilt wrapped around his body, his eyes wide with confusion “You’ll do anything for me, right?” He jerked his head towards Changbin. “Suck his dick.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The expression on Hyunjin’s face changes into one of devastation. And that’s when Changbin punches Seungmin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s definitely not the best night of his life. But it might be the worst.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. "He's not right for you"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Everyone needs at least one dramatic moment. A moment where you fall to your knees and yell as loud as you can, because life has fucked you over so bad that you don’t really know what else to do except give in to the dramatics. Seungmin really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wants to call this his moment. Because he just wants to fall to his knees and yell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he can’t do that. First, because he doesn’t want to get thrown out of the dorm, and two, because Seungmin really isn’t the dramatic type. He wishes he was though. Especially now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stares with barely held in frustration as Jeongin slumps on his bed, eyes glued to his laptop screen where some Netflix show is playing. “Jeongin.” He makes a small sound of acknowledgment that just grates on Seungmin’s nerves. “It’s 9:15. Minho’s writing that test at 9:30.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin looks up with a scowl. “So what am I supposed to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least wish him good luck!” Seungmin doesn’t mean to raise his voice but Jeongin is just…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Jeongin scrunches his nose. “He doesn’t need it. He studied.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s really not the point,” Seungmin runs his fingers through his hair. It’s frustrating. Jeongin is frustrating. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin pushes the laptop away and shifts so that he’s facing Seungmin. “So what </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> the point? You know, you’ve been like this the entire week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin raises a brow, feigning ignorance. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been nagging me about Minho!” Jeongin throws a pillow at him, grinning when it hits him squarely in the chest. “What’s your problem, man?” He snorts out a laugh. “You keep reminding me about Minho’s schedule. What are you? His secretary?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin clutches the pillow to his chest, trying to come up with the least offensive response. He knows that he’s been nagging ever since the party, trying to get Jeongin to make </span>
  <em>
    <span>subtle</span>
  </em>
  <span> changes. But Jeongin is stubborn. He simply shrugs off Seungmin’s suggestions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just don’t want you to lose him,” he says, gauging Jeongin’s reaction. His best friend looks slightly confused, but not upset. “I know he makes you happy,” Seungmin adds. “But you gotta make him happy too, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin frowns now, scratching the back of his neck. “Do you think he’s unhappy?” He straightens and looks at Seungmin with wide eyes. “Did he tell you something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no,” Seungmin lies, his panic rising. “Nothing like that. I just feel like you could keep him happy if you pay a little more attention to him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin huffs out a sigh and reaches for his phone. A minute later he gives Seungmin a skeptical look, “Sent him a good luck text. Think that’s enough attention for today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin shakes his head and looks away, hoping he doesn’t look as upset as he feels. Jeongin is impossible. “Hyunjin’s coming over soon,” he says. “So can you… You know…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin frowns at him, “You kicking me out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unless you want to watch,” Seungmin raises a brow. “And I don’t think either of you would enjoy that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The question takes Seungmin by surprise. He knows that Jeongin isn’t incredibly fond of Hyunjin but he’d never blatantly asked before… “He’s available,” he shrugged. Jeongin nods, grabbing his bag off his desk. Seungmin can see his jaw working. He’s upset but Seungmin can’t understand why. “You have a 9:45 class. You should get going anyway,” he says, figuring that Jeongin was just annoyed at being kicked out again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not right for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin’s jaw drops and he stares at Jeongin in confusion. After a few seconds he recovers enough to say, “It’s not like we’re dating.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A knock on the door saves Jeongin from the admonishment that Seungmin was about to deliver. With a shake of the head, Seungmin slides off the bed to let Hyunjin in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The young man stops in the threshold, glancing nervously from Jeongin to Seungmin. “Uh…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin rolls his eyes and stretches his arms over his head as he slips on his shoes. “Horny bastard,” he mutters, narrowing his eyes at Seungmin. He grabs his backpack off the floor and steps in front of Hyunjin, patting his cheek with a hand. Hyunjin tries to lean away, but Jeongin catches his face in a firm grip. He says in a whisper, just loud enough for Seungmin to hear, “Your roommate touches Seungmin again and he'll regret it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Innie,” Seungmin warns, noticing the shudder running through Hyunjin’s body. He knows that Jeongin can be intimidating when he needs to be. He also knows that Jeongin was pissed off when he saw the bruise on Seungmin’s jaw. He doesn’t care that Seungmin deserved it and Seungmin’s been trying to keep him out of Changbin’s way for the past week. “Leave it alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin gives him one of those unreadable looks before pushing past Hyunjin, leaving them alone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t like me,” Hyunjin says timidly, flopping down onto Seungmin’s bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin laughs, “He’s just particular about the people he befriends.” When you’re popular, you’re privileged enough to be picky about your company. Hyunjin pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose but it falls again when he nods. “You’re not here for him anyway,” Seungmin shrugs. “You’re here for me.” He pats his lap and Hyunjin immediately moves to straddle him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, people have been talking,” Hyunjin says, arching his body when Seungmin slides his hands beneath his cardigan. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin’s hands still. “About what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Us,” Hyunjin says, leaning back to look at him. “About me, mostly. They say I – I’m – that I’m…” a flush colors his cheeks as he gives in to his signature stutter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin only feels slightly ashamed. He’s aware of what people are saying about Hyunjin, and the derogatory names they call him because of this little arrangement. Seungmin won’t accept full responsibility for that. Hyunjin knew exactly what he was getting into the first time they fucked, and it was his decision to continue. Seungmin isn’t forcing this on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can always put a stop to this,” Seungmin reminds him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin shakes his head quickly, “N–no, no that’s – that’s not what I want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin gives him a satisfied smile and tilts his head to connect their lips. But he can feel the hesitancy, the slight quiver in Hyunjin’s jaw, and the constant shifting on his lap. Discomfort radiates off Hyunjin, and Seungmin has to pull back, fixing him with a hard stare, “What’s wrong now?” If Hyunjin doesn’t want to be there, Seungmin isn’t going to force him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was just wondering…” His voice is so soft that Seungmin has to strain his ears to hear each word. Hyunjin blinks, eyes darting around the room as he begins to ramble, “It’s my parents’ anniversary soon and they’re throwing this party and I was – I was wondering if you w-wanted to be my – my…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hyunjin,” Seungmin says firmly, shifting him off his lap. “I can’t be your date, because we’re not dating. How many times do I have to tell you that’s not what this is?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin’s eyes are glassy, brimming with tears, his face flushed red. “I know but—” his voice cracks as the first tear slips down his cheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Seungmin mutters, striding over to the door. He opens it and jerks his head towards the hallway. “Let’s do this later, alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyunjin is supposed to be a reprieve, a means to release the stress and tension that wound Seungmin up. But if Hyunjin is becoming a source of stress maybe Seungmin needs to end things permanently this time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minho yawns as he tries to decipher the unreadable scrawl on a test answer sheet, giving up and placing the sheet in Chan’s pile instead. He shrugs when Chan raises an eyebrow in his direction. “Your eyesight is better than mine,” he says in a whisper, conscious of the other students in the library.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chan rolls his eyes at that, and then leans forward a little. “You know, Jisung’s been asking about you again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unease grips Minho, and he sinks down into his chair, wishing he could sink into the ground instead. “I’m not interested in meeting your boyfriend, Chan. I told you that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But he’s cool,” Chan insists, drumming his fingers on the table. “He knows that we dated and he doesn’t mind that we’re friends now.” When Minho doesn’t answer, Chan adds, “He’s completely cool with everything, unlike </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> boyfriend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho narrows his eyes now, “Don’t bring Jeongin into this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Chan cocks his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips. “Jeongin isn’t right for you, Min. You know that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s eyes widen in surprise. It’s difficult to process that Chan actually had the guts to say that to him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Minho digs his fingers into the wooden surface. “First, you break up with me because ‘We both need to focus on school, Minho’,” Minho grimaces as he mimics the serious tone with which Chan had delivered his heartbreak. “Isn’t that what you said? And then a month later you supposedly meet the love of your life in a fucking grocery store. And you really expect us all to be good friends? Of course Jeongin isn’t okay with us being friends. Maybe he’s the only fucking normal one from all of us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chan responds with infuriating calm, his fingers steepled, “We both know you only started dating him to get over me. Hell, even Jeongin knows it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho stares, unable to fathom where all of this is coming from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not right for you,” Chan repeats his earlier sentiment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What an asshole. It’s the last straw for Minho. He swipes his pile of papers off the desk and stuffs them into his bag before he stands up. He shakes his head in annoyance and starts toward the exit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chan isn’t wrong. He’s right about Jeongin being a rebound. But that’s just how it started. Jeongin was meant to be nothing more than a hookup. But when Minho had woken up the morning after they first had sex, he’d found Jeongin in the kitchen. With the brightest smile Minho had ever seen, Jeongin had asked him, “How do you like your eggs in the morning? Would you like some coffee too?” A simple, no strings attached hookup turned into something more, and Minho has absolutely no regrets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory brings a fond smile to Minho’s lips. He’s in love with Jeongin. That much is undeniable. He just wishes… He wishes that Jeongin could love him better. It’s a selfish wish. Jeongin is doing his best but it’s just not enough. Not what Minho needs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And what does Minho need? The vision of a familiar face swims in Minho’s mind. Those attentive eyes, the soft smile when he appraises Minho, the way he sends Minho links to interesting websites that help with his projects, the way he never fails to wish Minho good luck on his tests – even if its mumbled when Jeongin has his back turned. Seungmin is always there for Minho, in a way that Jeongin never is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s not right for you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho tries to push Chan’s words out of his mind, but they remain there the entire day, like a beeping alarm, trying to urge him into a panic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jeongin…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin’s tongue dips into Minho’s hole and he presses his face into the pillow, his body trembling as Jeongin’s tongue works him open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jeongin… ah!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin’s fingers are digging into his thighs hard enough to bruise but Minho doesn’t care. It feels so good. Jeongin always feels so good. Minho knows there’s something more important, something that he really needs to discuss, but he can’t find it in himself to stop his boyfriend from making him come for the second time that evening. When Jeongin came over Minho hadn’t intended on ending up on the bed with his ass in the air ten minutes after he’d opened the door, but here he is, his original agenda remaining pushed aside for the moment, but not forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho whines and impatiently pushes back against Jeongin’s tongue. But he yelps when Jeongin’s palm connects with his thigh, the stinging impact of the physical admonishment hardening his cock again. He’d only just spilled his cum into Jeongin’s mouth five minutes ago but he was rearing to go again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can feel two of Jeongin’s fingers joining his tongue, and streaks of heat shoot through his bloodstream as he anticipates being filled by his boyfriend’s cock. Just as the slicked head of Jeongin’s cock pushes against his rim, his palm smacks against Minho’s thigh, and this time it’s less of an admonishment, and more just to rile Minho up. Minho knows when he looks in the mirror later he’s going to see a pretty red flush on both his thighs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Jeongin’s hands come to rest on his hips, Minho fervently clutches the sheets between his fingers. And when Jeongin pushes into him, Minho feels blissed out. Jeongin begins to fuck into him, and Minho thoroughly enjoys himself despite the lingering reminder about that discussion they need to have.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin’s hand wraps around Minho’s cock, jerking him off in time to each hard thrust, his other hand fisted in Minho’s hair. It’s the warmth filling Minho’s hole, the sensation of Jeongin’s cum leaking out of him, that pushes him over the edge and he watches his cum spill onto his sheets. It’s fine – they were overdue for a wash anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s fingers comb through his boyfriend’s bright blue locks. Jeongin is splayed across the bed, his head on Minho’s lap. Minho hesitates for a moment before asking, “When did you realize that you were in love with me?” The question has been on his tongue for ages, now pushed from his lips by his earlier encounter with Chan.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin hums, one leg dangling off the bed as he stretches. “I guess it was when…” he grins at Minho devilishly and his eyes light up. “It was the first time I felt your mouth on my dick.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Minho shoves Jeongin off his lap, and swings his legs off the bed. “Can you be serious for one fucking second?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait.” Long fingers wrap around Minho’s wrist. “I’m sorry.” Minho lets himself be pulled back down onto the bed. Arms wrap around him, pulling him back against the younger man’s bare chest. Jeongin sighs, his warm breath tickling Minho’s ear. “Three months after we met we went to that travelling fair. You remember that, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho nods. Back in July. He’d been the one to convince Jeongin that it would be fun. He racks his brain trying to figure out exactly when on that day Jeongin could’ve realized he was in love with Minho. Was it when Minho dropped his hotdog and messed his sweater with mustard? Was it when Minho accidentally shot the man behind the counter instead of the bottle he was supposed to knock down? Was it when Minho bribed the man with an embarrassingly large sum of money to get the stuffed animal anyway?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanted to see that fortune teller,” Jeongin continues, pausing to press a kiss to Minho’s shoulder. Oh? “Honestly I only went into that tent with you thinking of all the jokes I could make when we got out of there. But we sat down and that woman began talking about our future. No, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> future. Your future. My future. The successful career you would have, the business I would own… And I just – just…” Minho turns slightly to see Jeongin’s brows furrow. “I guess I felt really disappointed that she didn’t say anything about </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you know. Our future. Even if she was a fraud, I’d hoped she’d say something about us, about our future together. And that’s when I realized that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> want a future with you. That I want a future with you because I’m in love with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s breath stutters in astonishment as he locks eyes with his boyfriend. “I – I didn’t know…” It was a month after they visited that fair when Jeongin told Minho that he loved him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t know what?” Jeongin cocks a brow, his lips tilted into a smirk. “That you turned me into a hopeless romantic?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s shoulders lift into a half-shrug. “Because you never show me that side of you, Innie.” There it is – the confrontation he’s been putting off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s just not who I am,” Jeongin grimaces, his answer immediate. “I mean, you know that I love you. Why do I need to... I dunno? Buy you flowers? Take you out for candlelit dinners? Is that what you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not asking for anything grand, Jeongin,” Minho sighs in exasperation. “It’s just that sometimes I feel like I’m more of a fuckbuddy than your boyfriend. I just want you to – to acknowledge that I’m something more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin groans and wraps an arm around Minho’s waist, turning him around so that they’re facing each other. “You never had a problem with anything before. Why try to change me now? A few months ago I was enough for you… You know, I’m happy with you, Minho, just the way you are. The person who you are right now is the person that I love. If you want me to change who I am, does that mean you don’t love me as I am anymore?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Minho says immediately, because it’s true. “But…” A few months ago, Jeongin was exactly what Minho needed after Chan. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But needs change, don’t they?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He opens his mouth to tell Jeongin just that, but the words are stuck in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho is selfish. Who asks the man that they love to change, to be someone he’s not? And what happens if Jeongin refuses? Would the stalemate mean an end to their relationship? No, Minho isn’t ready for that. He’ll never be ready for that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what, Minho?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I’m an idiot,” Minho smiles and looks away so Jeongin is unable to spot the incoming lie. “I don’t know what I’m talking about. You’re perfect for me, Innie.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin is about to reply when the sound of his phone buzzing against the nightstand startles them both. He glances at the caller ID and immediately answers. “What’s up, Seung?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh. Seungmin. Minho flushes a deep shade of red as he recalls how he fucked up last week. He should’ve never have said those things to Seungmin, should never have pulled on Seungmin’s heartstrings the way he did. He knows how Seungmin feels about him. Seungmin doesn’t realize it but he wears his heart on his sleeve. His feelings are always on full display for Minho to see. Jeongin is so different…  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was wrong to think of using Seungmin that way. It’s wrong that Minho is still thinking of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seungmin, to his credit, has been gracious about what happened – in that he completely avoids Minho. Usually the trio has lunch together, sometimes dinner, but now Seungmin conveniently finds something more urgent in need of his attention. It should relieve Minho, but he instead he often finds himself brooding. What if Seungmin is just biding his time until tells Jeongin?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Minho. Minho are you listening?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?” Minho looks at Jeongin in surprise. “Sorry, I was just...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seungmin said he’s not coming over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s for the best. Minho only told Jeongin to invite him out of politeness anyway. “I guess it’s just us then.” But the frown on Jeongin’s face has Minho’s own smile fading. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seungmin’s been weird this past week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shit. Minho freezes, only his fingers twitching out of nervousness. “How – what makes you say that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin sighs and leans back, head tipped towards the ceiling. “It’s like both of you are constantly hounding me to change all of a sudden.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho cringes and reaches forward to take Jeongin’s hand into his own. “So, um, what exactly is he asking you to change?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin shifts his gaze to Minho now, his brows furrowed. “He thinks I’m not paying enough attention to you. A lot like what you and I just discussed, actually.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s eyes widen and he erupts into a frenzy of nerves. Shit, shit, shit. “I’m sure he’s not serious. He’s probably just messing with you. I mean—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, he’s one to talk,” Jeongin scoffs, obviously – to Minho’s relief – not suspecting anything. “Can’t believe he’s fucking that nerdy brat again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s stomach clenches. “He’s what? Who are you talking about?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hwang Hyunjin,” Jeongin says the name like it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. “You know about him and Seungmin, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But he said – I mean, I thought they ended things?” That’s what Seungmin told Minho at the party.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Changed his mind after that party,” Jeongin says with a shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After the party. Had he changed his mind after what happened with Minho? And Minho has to wonder whether he was the reason Seungmin started whatever it is he has with Hyunjin. Does he always fuck Hyunjin while thinking of Minho? Something akin to a mixture of jealousy and self-satisfaction swirls in Minho’s gut. It was just nice to be desired to that extent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess when you’re horny, you take what you get, huh?” Jeongin sighs loudly. “But I don’t get it. He can do so much better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah, Seungmin could’ve had Minho. But he went straight to Hyunjin after Minho’s proposition. For the first time since that night, Minho sees it for what it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rejection. Seungmin rejected him and got into bed with Hwang Hyunjin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s true,” Minho snorts in offence. “I completely agree.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin’s lips curve into a smile and he pulls Minho onto his lap. “I’m glad we agree on something.” His fingers trail over Minho’s thighs, tracing patterns into his flushed skin. Minho is only wearing Jeongin’s white button-down shirt, his lower half still unclothed thanks to their little tryst just an hour or two ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s one more thing Minho needs to get off his chest. But he doesn’t know how Jeongin will take it. It’s not like they haven’t spoken about it before. But Jeongin always has an excuse…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jeongin?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin hums and places a soft kiss on Minho’s exposed shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you should move in with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Minho’s been thinking about it for a while now. Next year he’ll be done with college, doing some internship who knows where. And he really needs to gauge where his relationship with Jeongin is heading. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the range of emotions that flicker across Jeongin’s face are anything but promising. “Min, baby, that’s a bit…” Jeongin seems to struggle to find his words. “It only takes me fifteen minutes to get here. I don’t see the need for me to move in. It’s not like you live across town. And I sleep over most nights anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you move in,” Minho shifts off Jeongin’s lap and tries to make a case for it, “we can spend more time together. You know, we can do more… domestic things.” It feels embarrassing having to say it and Minho has to look away. Even to himself, it sounds desperate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what about Seungmin?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seungmin?” Minho’s brows draw together and he stares in confusion. “What about Seungmin?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jeongin seems hesitant to say what’s on his mind, his gaze lowered, fingers playing with the hem of Minho’s shirt, “I can’t just… abandon him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Minho scrunches his nose. He’s really unable to understand Jeongin’s train of thought. “He’s an adult. He doesn’t need you around him all the time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what if he does?” Jeongin still refuses to look at Minho. “What if he needs me?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unbelievable…  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seungmin</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the reason behind Jeongin’s refusal to move in? </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading 💖💗💕💞💖💗💕💞<br/>Twt: @lillyandcat</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>